Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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