She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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