This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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