If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
