She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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