I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
