maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
