Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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