He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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