we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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