Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
