Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
