shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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