I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
