I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
