Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ladies don't puke and tell
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
