Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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