Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
