Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
