Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
