Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
