Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
