At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
