Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
