I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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