Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize