No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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