I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
