Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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