He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
