What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
