lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize