wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
