don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I bet he comes in French.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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