I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This house was built for laser tag.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
