please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
