when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
