Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
