I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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