You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
