Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
