i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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