You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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