i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
