Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
