i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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