on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
