my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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