I'm drive I can fine osifer
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
