end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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