she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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