So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
