I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize