That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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