I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize