Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
