What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
