He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I have already put on my inside pants.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
