wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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