It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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