just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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