cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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