I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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