Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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