I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
