we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize