I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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