Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
