there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
did i walk over a car last night?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize