You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
