I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
