he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
