Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
