2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
