he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize