i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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