HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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