here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
