ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
