Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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