the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
