with your own penis?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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