I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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