dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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