My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
