In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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