but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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