i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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