I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
