you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
