if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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