I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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