Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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