he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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