i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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